There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
