I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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