No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
