Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
