Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
