Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
two words: eviction party
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
