Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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