god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
