Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
