I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It's shark week go big or go home
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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