i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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