You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
