Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
