then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
