I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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