he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
