the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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