i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
