i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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