I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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