Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
