you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
