The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
