saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I need to stop coming to work sober
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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