DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
