Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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