Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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