epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
