hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
