who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
