he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
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