Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
