Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
