There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize