We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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