I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
high people should be assigned attendants
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize