dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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