the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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