And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
