Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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