they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
