My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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