I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
