1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize