Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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