Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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