Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
