If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
