Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
