You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize