i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
