He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
