How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
