I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
