you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
