5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
