you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
