happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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