Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
