i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize