butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
