You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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