Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
